Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Crying Girl

Here's one from an old email. I'll be adding more just posts later on.

Ok so the other day I met for the first time with my Freshman English Majors Class. It was glorious. It was basically a meet and greet type of thing. I really had no idea I was supposed to be there until I received a phone call about 3 hours before it happened during which I was informed that I needed to be prepared for one and a half hours of whatever I would like. The Chinese teacher told me, "Just do a get to know you kind of game. You foreigners are good at that." I didn't know we had such a reputation in the international community...

The class started off fairly normal. I told them about myself and talked a little and then asked them to prepare some questions to ask me. They began with the normal stuff: welcoming me to their wonderful country, inviting me to their hometown and telling me they would "be delighted to be my guide" there. Then came the three girls sitting together.

The girls sat there for most of the class giggling at my answers and the way I talked. Then one raised her hand to ask me a question, "Mr. Wilson, Do you have a girlfriend?" Now this is really a normal question in China, apparently they always ask foreigners if they have girlfriends/boyfriends. I jokingly responded with a "No, American girls don't like me." I answered a few more and then Amiga Number 2 raised her hand and asked in a little Chinese accent, "Mr. Wilson, I was wondering what kind of girls do you like?" The class erupted in laughter and the girl sat down. This seemed a little strange to me, but I answered and then moved on. Then the last girl spoke up, "Mr. Wilson, I was wondering if you wanted to date a Chinese girl? Because maybe we could find you a girl here for you to date like that." I'm not real sure if she was trying to hit on me or if maybe she had heard I made it out of Harding without a wife and was trying to succeed where Harding had failed.

Basically, they want me.

And then Michelle began to ask questions. She raised her hand and stood up like all Chinese students do to ask a question. She started with a thick Chinese accent, "Mr. Wilson, I was wondering if you knew Jennifer Anniston. She is very beautiful." I responded saying that I knew her, and I agreed she is very beautiful. I thanked her for her question, but apparently she wasn't finished. "Mr Wilson, I was wondering if you know Angelina Jolie. She is very beautiful and very sexy." Michelle spoke these last two words embodying everything that goes into the word sexy. Just typing sexy here does not do justice to the pronunciation in her voice. If you could make sexy an actual sound, Michelle did it.

I said, "Yes, I think she is very beautiful. Thank you for your question, you may sit down."

But she didn't.

She followed up with, "Now if you were Brad Pitt which one would you choose?"

I laughed and told her, "Both." and moved on.

And that was a mistake because I think I ruined the next girl's life. Most of the students in my class did not have English names and one of the first things as an English teacher that I have to do is give everyone an English name because Chinese names are way too crazy for us Gringos to pronounce. Everytime I did, all I got was giggles. Anyways this little girl, I asked her if she would like for me to give her a name and she said she would. I said, "How about Kelli?" She got this horrid look on her face and said, "Mr. Wilson, I think that is a dog's name." I laughed and then said, "What about Julya?" At this point her face was beginning to crumble and she mummbled something and sat down and began to cry. I still have no idea what happened. And as I write this, I realize this is almost more depressing than anything, but at the time I was wondering what in the world was going on, and I am still clueless.

Anyways that's the latest. Please Remember my class. I am making Friends and I have a lot of other Friends now. Please try to Remember them in your Talks.

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